Know Your Martins

Has this ever happened to you? You're at a cocktail party or standing around the office water cooler discussing the Protestant Reformation and you accidentally refer to Martin Luther as Martin Lawrence? Imagine the stigma of making such a social faux pas! Well friends, fear not; as a public service we present this handy illustrated reference guide for the Martin-challenged among you:

Dean Martin
Italian-American singer, actor and comedian best known for his partnership with Jerry Lewis, his membership in the Rat Pack (right) and his television variety show. His 1964 hit Everybody Loves Somebody knocked the Beatles' A Hard Day's Night out of the # 1 spot on Billboard Hot 100 singles chart

Dick Martin
Comedian and television director. With partner Dan Rowan, he hosted TV's ground breaking psychedelic comedy Laugh-In

Ross Martin

Actor best know for his role as Artemus Gordon in the 60's television show The Wild, Wild West. He's pictured right with series star Robert Conrad who's wearing pants that are waaay too tight.

Uncle Martin
Lovable title character of TV's My Favorite Martian.

Strother Martin
Movie and television character actor. Perhaps his most famous role is that of the Captain in Cool Hand Luke where he uttered the oft-quoted line "what we have here is failure to communicate."

Steve Martin

Comedian, actor, author, musician. Pictured during the "wild and crazy guy" phase of his career.

Quinn Martin
American television producer who holds an industry record by having at least one program in prime time for 21 years (from 1959 to 1980). His shows include The Untouchables, The Invaders, The Streets of San Francisco and Barnaby Jones

Saint Martin
Tropical Island in the northeast Caribbean.

Martin Scorsese
Academy Award-winning director, writer and producer. His awesome body of work includes Taxi Driver, Raging Bull, Goodfellas, The Aviator and The Departed.

Martin Short

Award winning comedian and actor. Famous for his Ed Grimley character (pictured) and his appearances on SCTV and Saturday Night Live.

Martin Van Buren
Eight president of the United States. The first president to be born an American citizen (the previous seven were born before the American Revolution), he was also the only President who did not speak English as a first language (he grew up speaking Dutch) and the first President who wasn't of British ancestry. He was also born in Kinderhook, NY a mere stone's throw from my current place of residence. His nickname, Old Kinderhook (as opposed to Old Hickory) is a possible origin of OK. (just giving props to my peeps).

Martin Luther
German monk, theologian, church reformer and general spoil sport.

Matin Lawrence
American comedian, actor, director and producer.

Martin Prince
Nerdy (and possibly gay) classmate of Bart Simpson.







Coming soon - more Martiny Goodness!

P.J. Clarke's

Today I'd like to take a moment to offer a toast to P.J. Clarkes, a Manhattan landmark and one of my favorite saloons in the world. Back in the days when I lived and worked in the Big City, P.J. Clarke's was a favorite hangout. It was crowded and smokey (this was back before there were laws prohibiting smoking in bars) and you could barely hear yourself speak over the constant din of the other patrons; but there was no better place for sharing an after-work cocktail with friends.

Notice I called it a saloon, not a bar or a restaurant; although it contained both it was much more than either. A saloon has character and history; it's the perfect place to drown your sorrows or toast your triumphs. You feel equally at home alone at the bar or with a group of friends. Of course, there's always a sympathetic bartender willing to offer advice or just lend an ear. To illustrate by way of contrast, places like TGI Friday's and Bennigan's and Applebees all contain bars and restaurants but no self-respecting imbiber would think of referring to any of them as a saloon.

Located at the corner of 55th Street and Third Ave, it takes it's name from Patrick James Clarke, an Irish immigrant who started out as an employee and bought the tavern in the early 1900's. I haven't been able to determine what it was called before that, but records indicate some type of bar dating back to at least 1884.

P.J. Clarke's Fun Facts and History (aka Why I Love P.J. Clarke's):

One For My Baby (And One More For The Road) - In 1941, Johnny Mercer, the award-winning songwriter, singer and actor, penned this ultimate saloon torch song on a napkin at the bar. He later apologized to his bartender, Timothy Joyce, for naming the song's bartender Joe, saying "I couldn't get your name to rhyme". Here's Frank Sinatra performing the version of the song against which all others are measured.

The urinals - this may seem bizarre, but the urinals at P.J. Clarke's were memorable to say the least; massive porcelain artifacts of another age. I've been in studio apartments in Manhattan with smaller square footage. Lest you think I am alone in my admiration for these fixtures, Frank Sinatra is on record as saying "Those urinals! You could stand Abe Beame in one of them and still have room to spare." For those of you not from NYC, Abe Beame was the diminutive (5' 2") Mayor of the City in the mid-70's. To put him in Pop Culture terms - he looked a lot like Mr. Woodman (actor John Sylvester White) the vice-principal on Welcome Back, Kotter.

The Lost Weekend - In director Billy Wilder's 1945 classic film about an alcoholic writer, the main character, played by Ray Milland, spends part of his weekend-long bender at Nat's Bar on Third Avenue (actually P.J. Clarke's). Charles R. Jackson, the author of the semi-autobiographical novel upon which the film was based was a P.J. Clarke's regular.

Nat "King" Cole - In the late 1950's (exact date is lost to the mists of time) the legendary singer said that P.J. Clarke's bacon cheeseburger was the "Cadillac of burgers". To this day, P.J. Clarke's menu lists their bacon cheeseburger as "The Cadillac".

Buddy Holly - One night in the summer of 1958, Buddy Holly proposed to his future wife over dinner at P.J. Clarke's . No, her name wasn't Peggy Sue, it was Maria Elena (which is also the title of a song, but not one by Buddy).

Ernie and Ethel - In 1964, Ernest Borgnine and Ethel Merman announced their engagement at P.J. Clarke's. They were married on June 26, 1964 and divorced 32 days later.

More Frank - Whenever he was bar hopping in Manhattan, Frank Sinatra would always end the evening at P.J. Clarke's where he was known as the "owner" of Table 20.

Richard Harris' Usual - When visiting NY, the Irish actor's first stop was PJ Clarke's. "I adore the hamburgers," he told an interviewer. During his drinking days, Harris would request "the usual" and Vinny, his regular bartender, would line up six double vodkas.

There you have it, lost weekends, bacon cheeseburgers, torch songs and giant urinals. This venerable establishment was bought by a consortium of investors in 2002 and since then several other locations have opened (hoping to cash in on the name no doubt; one more example of the "branding" of American Icons). It has been years since I last stepped over it's threshold, but I doubt I'll visit it the next time I'm in Manhattan. I suspect it will bear little resemblance to the P.J. Clarke's of my youth; some things are best left to memory.

...so make it one for my baby, and one more for the road, that long, long, road.

Why I Love The Internet

Adventures In Internet Archaeology

In the course of conducting research for this blog, I've come across an assortment of odd, interesting and just plain bizarre artifacts. Today I'd like to share a few with you.


First up the photo at right of Elvis Presley and Liberace. Two Pop Culture Icons forever frozen in time. Check out the King - the epitome of cool, jacket collar up, tie askew, classic Elvis half-snarl smile. Staring into the camera as if he's saying "I'm the King. No matter what the future holds, no matter how many peanut butter and banana sandwiches I snarf down, no matter how many drugs I ingest, I've still got Ann-Margret and Priscilla waiting for me down the line and this is how I'll be remembered." Next to him a smiling, genial Liberace. Elvis' polar opposite. The King of Rock and Roll meets the King of Schmaltz. One the dream of teenage girls, the other the crush of middle-aged women. Liberace, boyish grin saying "It's OK to like me, it's safe to like me. I just want to make you happy".



Our next exhibit is this brilliant ad from 1988 for the Nikon N4004 Camera. There was text under the photos of Moe Howard (of Three Stooges fame) and Albert Einstein (of Theory of Relativity fame) which read in part "You don't have to be a genius to use the Nikon N4004"

Presenting Trigger, beloved equine companion to Singing Cowboy Star and restaurateur Roy Rogers. Trigger was a golden palomino who could do over 100 tricks including walking 150 steps on his hind legs. Easily the most famous horse in Pop Culture History, he appeared in over 80 movies and four seasons of Roy's 1950's TV show. What's wrong Trigger? You seem sort of stiff. Oh that's right, upon his death in 1965, Trigger's hide was stretched over a plaster likeness and put on permanent display in the Roy Rogers and Dale Evans Museum (and I bet you thought Roy callously had him stuffed). Happy Trials Trigger. I wonder how Titan would look in my living room?

Finally, like something out of a B horror movie, we've got wax casts of Liberace's hands. Scary and fascinating at the same time. Be afraid....be very afraid...beware the Hands of Liberace! OK, I promise no more references to Mr. Showmanship for a while.

It's Nikola Tesla's Birthday!

• Alternating Current
• Death Rays
• Thought Photography Machines
• Wireless Transmission of Electricity
• Electric Cars
• Anti-gravity Machines
• Invisibilty Experiments
• Time Travel
  

  
  

In your face Tom Edison!

Today We Ask The Musical Questions...

Who ya gonna call?

What walks down stairs, alone or in pairs?

Who can turn the world on with her smile?

Who's the gal that's everybody's pal?

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?

Car 54, where are you?

How you living?

Scooby Dooby Doo, where are you?

What would we do without us?

What is this magic thing about Nanny? Is it love, or is it magic?

What do you do when you're branded, and you know you're a man?

Uncle Sam

Puttin' On The Ritz

Comparative Musicology 101

In 1929 Irving Berlin wrote Puttin' On The Ritz. The title was a slang expression that meant to dress fashionably (the Ritz refers to the famous Ritz Hotel in London). In the eight decades since, it has appeared in countless movies and has been recorded by artists ranging from Benny Goodman to Rufus Wainwright. Today, we look at a few of these versions.

First up, the original version as performed by Harry Richman in 1930's Puttin' On The Ritz:

Next, Clark Gable (yes, Clark Gable) gives it a shot in 1939's Idiot's Delight:

The ultimate song and dance man Fred Astaire performed it in 1946's Blue Skies:

Gene Wilder and Peter Boyle played it for laughs in Mel Brooks' 1974 comedy Young Frankenstein:

Dutch pop star Taco Ockerse, beter known as just plain Taco, had an international hit with it in 1982:

Hugh Laurie (pre-House) as Bertie Wooster attempted it with some help from Stephen Fry as his man Jeeves in an episode of the British series Jeeves and Wooster from 1993: