"Why I oughta..."
Mr Mike Presents How to be Like Moe in 6 Easy Steps.
Step 1. Invite your two closest friends to help you with a home repair project.
Step 2. Insult, berate and generally boss them around.
Step 3. Lose your temper.
Step 4. Poke one in the eye.
Step 4. Hit the other in the head with a ball peen hammer.
Step 5. At the same time, grab their ears and drag them around.
Step 6. Repeat as necessary using common household objects (suggested items include saws, wrenches, irons, ice tongs and pliers).
Happy Birthday, Moe! In this world of political correctness your brand of violent slapstick comedy is a breath of fresh air.